1
00:00:03,001 --> 00:00:06,103
[♪]
2
00:01:17,510 --> 00:01:19,311
Why do we have go through
the family album
3
00:01:19,312 --> 00:01:21,379
And x out the dead guy?
4
00:01:21,380 --> 00:01:24,882
Well, dad said it helps
at christmastime.
5
00:01:24,883 --> 00:01:26,017
"never send a present
6
00:01:26,018 --> 00:01:27,952
To someone who won't
send one back."
7
00:01:29,788 --> 00:01:32,056
Then we should x out
mom and dad.
8
00:01:33,526 --> 00:01:36,027
Soon enough, kel.
Soon enough.
9
00:01:37,129 --> 00:01:38,863
Well, I guess
it's buenos nachos
10
00:01:38,864 --> 00:01:40,498
To uncle stymie.
11
00:01:41,667 --> 00:01:43,568
Yup. Uncle stymie
was the only bundy
12
00:01:43,569 --> 00:01:45,737
To have died of
natural causes.
13
00:01:45,738 --> 00:01:48,439
And to be named
after a little rascal.
14
00:01:49,942 --> 00:01:52,210
I can't believe
this guy's actually rich.
15
00:01:52,211 --> 00:01:53,778
Was he a real bundy?
16
00:01:53,779 --> 00:01:55,446
Well, dad explained it
to me.
17
00:01:55,447 --> 00:01:58,016
He was the only male bundy
never to marry.
18
00:02:01,854 --> 00:02:04,188
I just hope dad's
not too broken up over this.
19
00:02:04,189 --> 00:02:06,858
I mean, uncle stymie was
his favorite.
20
00:02:06,859 --> 00:02:09,360
[sobbing]
21
00:02:16,134 --> 00:02:19,237
[sobbing]
oh, god, why did it have
to be him?
22
00:02:19,238 --> 00:02:21,472
Why did it have
to be him?
23
00:02:21,473 --> 00:02:24,576
[normal voice]
w-was that convincing, peg?
24
00:02:24,577 --> 00:02:26,143
I wasn't pushing it
too much, was I?
25
00:02:26,144 --> 00:02:29,146
I mean, I don't wanna seem
greedy at the will reading.
26
00:02:29,147 --> 00:02:30,948
Well, then maybe
you shouldn't have asked
27
00:02:30,949 --> 00:02:33,718
For dibs
on his gold fillings.
28
00:02:33,719 --> 00:02:35,820
What do you think, peg?
Hankie? No hankie?
29
00:02:35,821 --> 00:02:37,822
Uh, better no hankie.
30
00:02:37,823 --> 00:02:41,959
It's still crusty from that flu
that hit the family in '84.
31
00:02:42,995 --> 00:02:45,263
Hey, what do you think
your uncle was worth, dad?
32
00:02:45,264 --> 00:02:47,365
Bud, how can you
put a worth
33
00:02:47,366 --> 00:02:50,035
On the life of a man
like uncle buckwheat?
34
00:02:53,706 --> 00:02:55,106
Stymie, al.
35
00:02:55,107 --> 00:02:56,374
What's
the difference?
36
00:02:56,375 --> 00:02:59,177
Neither one of them
were germane to the plots.
37
00:02:59,178 --> 00:03:01,179
The point is
he saved all his money,
38
00:03:01,180 --> 00:03:02,280
And now, I'm gonna
get it.
39
00:03:02,281 --> 00:03:03,448
Let's go, peg.
[giggles]
40
00:03:05,317 --> 00:03:06,550
Hey,
wait a minute.
41
00:03:06,551 --> 00:03:08,286
You two aren't going.
42
00:03:08,287 --> 00:03:09,286
Why?
43
00:03:09,287 --> 00:03:10,354
We loved uncle spanky
44
00:03:10,355 --> 00:03:12,523
Just as much
as the next man.
45
00:03:13,558 --> 00:03:15,994
You don't even know
his name.
46
00:03:15,995 --> 00:03:17,328
Look, what daddy means
47
00:03:17,329 --> 00:03:20,431
Is that the sadness would just
be too much for you kids.
48
00:03:21,233 --> 00:03:23,801
They're not
coming back.
49
00:03:26,438 --> 00:03:29,407
They're taking the money
and leaving. I know it.
50
00:03:29,408 --> 00:03:31,909
Now, kids,
do you really think
51
00:03:31,910 --> 00:03:33,244
We could enjoy
this money
52
00:03:33,245 --> 00:03:35,713
Without sharing it
with you?
53
00:03:35,714 --> 00:03:38,683
[both snickering]
54
00:03:38,684 --> 00:03:40,251
We're going
to this funeral.
55
00:03:41,553 --> 00:03:43,254
All right.
56
00:03:43,255 --> 00:03:45,123
But before you do,
I think we should all have
57
00:03:45,124 --> 00:03:47,992
A moment of silence
for our dear uncle, uh...
58
00:03:47,993 --> 00:03:49,494
Gang.
59
00:03:57,969 --> 00:03:59,437
Amen.
60
00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:03,608
We've been had.
61
00:04:04,176 --> 00:04:06,244
[tires screeching]
62
00:04:06,245 --> 00:04:08,446
"and so the legacy
63
00:04:08,447 --> 00:04:10,782
"I, stymie c. Bundy,
leave you,
64
00:04:10,783 --> 00:04:12,984
"the last surviving
male bundys,
65
00:04:12,985 --> 00:04:17,221
"is proof that a male bundy
can achieve greatness.
66
00:04:17,222 --> 00:04:19,591
"did I mention
that I never married?
67
00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:21,526
"well, regardless,
68
00:04:21,527 --> 00:04:22,727
"I'm sure you men
69
00:04:22,728 --> 00:04:26,664
"have all become successful
in your own ways.
70
00:04:26,665 --> 00:04:28,199
"iggy bundy,
71
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:29,867
"I'm sure you became
72
00:04:29,868 --> 00:04:33,004
"the astronaut
you dreamed of.
73
00:04:33,005 --> 00:04:35,340
"lester bundy,
74
00:04:35,341 --> 00:04:36,908
"I'm sure
you achieved your dream
75
00:04:36,909 --> 00:04:40,111
"of becoming
a brain surgeon.
76
00:04:40,112 --> 00:04:43,048
"eugene bundy,
77
00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:45,050
"I wonder if you
achieved your goal
78
00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:48,953
Of becoming
bank president."
79
00:04:48,954 --> 00:04:51,222
I did.
80
00:04:51,223 --> 00:04:53,891
"and last,
and most certainly least,
81
00:04:53,892 --> 00:04:55,727
"al bundy.
82
00:04:55,728 --> 00:04:58,630
Al, get your hands
out of your pants."
83
00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:00,164
[inaudible dialogue]
84
00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:06,604
"you never really had
a dream,
85
00:05:06,605 --> 00:05:08,138
"but I only hope you had
the sense
86
00:05:08,139 --> 00:05:12,109
"to dump that wild redhead
who stole my wallet.
87
00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:15,880
"in conclusion,
88
00:05:15,881 --> 00:05:17,548
"rather than dividing
my estate
89
00:05:17,549 --> 00:05:19,617
"between all you vultures,
90
00:05:19,618 --> 00:05:23,021
I've decided to make
one bundy really happy."
91
00:05:23,022 --> 00:05:25,456
If it's you, al,
I really love you.
92
00:05:28,594 --> 00:05:31,396
If it's me, I--
I don't even know you.
93
00:05:38,804 --> 00:05:41,272
"therefore,
it is my final wish
94
00:05:41,273 --> 00:05:44,509
"that the first couple
to give birth to a bundy male
95
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:46,644
"named after me
96
00:05:46,645 --> 00:05:48,579
"and born in wedlock...
97
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:53,017
"will receive
my entire estate.
98
00:05:53,018 --> 00:05:57,221
That sum being $500,000."
99
00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:13,104
Uh, this may be
a stupid question,
100
00:06:13,105 --> 00:06:15,840
But why would you hide
your birth control pills?
101
00:06:15,841 --> 00:06:17,008
Safety precaution.
102
00:06:17,009 --> 00:06:19,210
Oh. Kelly.
103
00:06:19,211 --> 00:06:20,378
No. Al.
104
00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:21,813
Heh.
105
00:06:21,814 --> 00:06:23,314
He got ahold of them once.
106
00:06:23,315 --> 00:06:24,415
He thought
they were food
107
00:06:24,416 --> 00:06:26,918
I was hiding in my purse.
108
00:06:26,919 --> 00:06:28,987
So he ate them
while watching a ball game.
109
00:06:28,988 --> 00:06:30,087
Heh.
110
00:06:30,088 --> 00:06:31,756
You know, he actually kind
of liked it,
111
00:06:31,757 --> 00:06:33,825
Because he didn't have to
shave for a month.
112
00:06:35,661 --> 00:06:36,794
I don't get it.
113
00:06:36,795 --> 00:06:38,062
Why take birth control,
114
00:06:38,063 --> 00:06:40,532
When you could
get 500,000 bucks
115
00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:42,433
For a bundy baby boy?
116
00:06:42,434 --> 00:06:44,269
Plus what the zoo
would pay you for it.
117
00:06:46,605 --> 00:06:48,739
You know, I wouldn't
have another baby
118
00:06:48,740 --> 00:06:50,741
If gold dust dripped
out of its nose.
119
00:06:50,742 --> 00:06:51,842
[chuckles]
120
00:06:51,843 --> 00:06:53,944
I mean, sure,
the money would be nice,
121
00:06:53,945 --> 00:06:55,480
But I mean,
all that trouble.
122
00:06:55,481 --> 00:06:58,416
The screaming
and the crying and...
123
00:06:58,417 --> 00:07:01,686
Changing those diapers
three or four times a week.
124
00:07:04,223 --> 00:07:08,059
Well, at least that left
your weekends free.
125
00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:09,593
You'd think. Heh.
126
00:07:09,594 --> 00:07:11,562
But I mean, you go away
for the weekend,
127
00:07:11,563 --> 00:07:12,563
And when you come home,
128
00:07:12,564 --> 00:07:16,434
They are never
where you left them.
129
00:07:16,435 --> 00:07:20,438
And then, of course, there's
that 10 months of pregnancy.
130
00:07:20,439 --> 00:07:21,639
Ten?
131
00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:24,609
Male bundys never
wanna come out.
132
00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:26,978
Oh, and then once
they're out,
133
00:07:26,979 --> 00:07:28,947
They never wanna
go back in again.
134
00:07:36,121 --> 00:07:39,323
But, you know, for once,
al is excited about sex.
135
00:07:39,324 --> 00:07:41,325
And I am not gonna dampen
his enthusiasm
136
00:07:41,326 --> 00:07:42,627
With little details.
137
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:43,628
[chuckles]
138
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:44,963
[sighs]
139
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,498
So let me get
this straight.
140
00:07:46,499 --> 00:07:49,266
You're turning down
half a mil
141
00:07:49,267 --> 00:07:51,602
To have sex with al
for free.
142
00:07:51,603 --> 00:07:53,003
Mm-hm.
143
00:07:55,073 --> 00:07:57,408
Personally, I would rather
drive back and forth
144
00:07:57,409 --> 00:08:00,110
Over a speed bump.
145
00:08:00,111 --> 00:08:01,946
But I guess
that's just me.
146
00:08:01,947 --> 00:08:04,782
And every other woman
in the world.
147
00:08:04,783 --> 00:08:07,318
By the way,
where is the stallion?
148
00:08:07,319 --> 00:08:10,821
Oh, he's out buying playboy,
penthouse, biker babes, heh.
149
00:08:10,822 --> 00:08:13,524
You know, a little gas
for the engine.
150
00:08:14,126 --> 00:08:15,459
How disgusting
151
00:08:15,460 --> 00:08:18,029
That a man should need
outside stimulation.
152
00:08:18,030 --> 00:08:21,298
It's so insulting
to a woman.
153
00:08:21,299 --> 00:08:24,001
Who do you think of
when you're with al?
154
00:08:24,002 --> 00:08:25,670
James bond.
155
00:08:27,039 --> 00:08:28,773
All of them.
156
00:08:30,075 --> 00:08:31,409
How about you?
157
00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:34,445
Oh, I like to keep
my fantasies simple.
158
00:08:34,446 --> 00:08:37,047
It starts with me in
a really tight, short dress
159
00:08:37,048 --> 00:08:39,884
At the end of a bar.
160
00:08:39,885 --> 00:08:40,951
At the other end,
161
00:08:40,952 --> 00:08:43,154
They're greasing up
mike tyson.
162
00:08:44,990 --> 00:08:47,792
He's shadowboxing
and starting to sweat.
163
00:08:47,793 --> 00:08:49,260
Then the scene changes.
164
00:08:50,428 --> 00:08:52,797
It's now
madison square garden.
165
00:08:52,798 --> 00:08:55,800
A smoky crowd throbs
with anticipation.
166
00:08:55,801 --> 00:08:59,470
"go, marcie," they buzz.
167
00:08:59,471 --> 00:09:01,806
Tyson turns
into george foreman,
168
00:09:01,807 --> 00:09:05,176
Who eyes me
like a basket of muffins.
169
00:09:05,177 --> 00:09:06,477
The bell rings.
170
00:09:06,478 --> 00:09:09,180
I try to fight,
but I'm powerless.
171
00:09:09,181 --> 00:09:10,514
Then our eyes meet.
172
00:09:10,515 --> 00:09:12,817
He gives me
the old one-two.
173
00:09:12,818 --> 00:09:14,685
The crowd is
on its feet cheering.
174
00:09:14,686 --> 00:09:16,553
I'm down.
The count starts.
175
00:09:16,554 --> 00:09:19,356
The crowd's screaming,
"get up!" but I can't.
176
00:09:19,357 --> 00:09:20,992
I won't!
177
00:09:22,460 --> 00:09:24,762
Take me, mandingo!
178
00:09:32,604 --> 00:09:36,440
And then...Sometimes I get
a little kinky.
179
00:09:37,276 --> 00:09:38,542
Peg...
180
00:09:38,543 --> 00:09:39,943
Tonight your name
is guinevere,
181
00:09:39,944 --> 00:09:41,712
And you were born in--
yikes!
182
00:09:44,516 --> 00:09:45,716
Now look what
you've done.
183
00:09:45,717 --> 00:09:48,419
You might have
cost me $500,000.
184
00:09:49,721 --> 00:09:51,389
What are you
doing here?
185
00:09:51,390 --> 00:09:54,458
Collecting smells
for the poor.
186
00:09:54,459 --> 00:09:56,027
You have so much.
187
00:09:56,028 --> 00:09:58,629
Couldn't you please spare some
for those poor unfortunates
188
00:09:58,630 --> 00:10:01,232
Who have no odor
to call their own?
189
00:10:01,233 --> 00:10:04,535
Peg, this is not
helping lancelot.
190
00:10:04,536 --> 00:10:07,304
Marcie, I'll call you
when we're done.
191
00:10:07,305 --> 00:10:09,106
So you better run home
and get by the phone.
192
00:10:09,107 --> 00:10:10,608
It'll be ringing
in about a minute.
193
00:10:10,609 --> 00:10:11,675
[chuckles]
194
00:10:11,676 --> 00:10:13,277
[sighs]
195
00:10:13,278 --> 00:10:14,812
Let's go, baby.
196
00:10:16,348 --> 00:10:18,049
Well, what's wrong,
honey?
197
00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:19,950
Marcie looked at me.
198
00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,688
I might be shot
for the night.
199
00:10:24,889 --> 00:10:26,324
I need some--
200
00:10:26,325 --> 00:10:29,159
I need some incentive.
201
00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:30,661
Incentive.
202
00:10:30,662 --> 00:10:32,230
Incentive.
203
00:10:32,231 --> 00:10:33,797
Okay.
204
00:10:33,798 --> 00:10:35,700
We're in
a boxing ring.
205
00:10:35,701 --> 00:10:38,269
You're george foreman,
and I'm, uh--
206
00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:40,871
Oh, no, no, no.
That's my incentive.
207
00:10:40,872 --> 00:10:42,607
Okay. Uh, you want me
to run upstairs
208
00:10:42,608 --> 00:10:43,807
And put on
a garter belt?
209
00:10:43,808 --> 00:10:45,343
Ah...
210
00:10:45,344 --> 00:10:47,111
How about
my short pink teddy?
211
00:10:47,112 --> 00:10:49,313
You're not
helping me, peg.
212
00:10:51,416 --> 00:10:53,451
I need some real incentive.
213
00:10:53,452 --> 00:10:55,286
Okay. Okay, honey,
I got it.
214
00:10:55,287 --> 00:10:56,987
Now, just picture this:
215
00:10:56,988 --> 00:10:58,723
You're sitting
on the couch
216
00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:01,058
In front of
a big-screen tv.
217
00:11:04,329 --> 00:11:05,663
Forty-inch?
218
00:11:05,664 --> 00:11:06,997
I wish.
219
00:11:06,998 --> 00:11:08,165
What?
220
00:11:13,338 --> 00:11:15,305
I mean, yeah.
221
00:11:15,306 --> 00:11:16,573
So there you are,
222
00:11:16,574 --> 00:11:18,375
In front
of this big-screen tv.
223
00:11:18,376 --> 00:11:22,880
And on top of it is
this nice, shiny vhs.
224
00:11:22,881 --> 00:11:26,450
Just look how clear
that picture is.
225
00:11:26,451 --> 00:11:30,121
Slow down, baby.
Slow down.
226
00:11:30,122 --> 00:11:32,923
And every machine
in this house
227
00:11:32,924 --> 00:11:37,395
Is wired to one
remote control unit.
228
00:11:38,696 --> 00:11:41,465
And that remote
control
229
00:11:41,466 --> 00:11:44,235
Is yours, big boy.
230
00:11:46,838 --> 00:11:49,607
Let's go, peg.
231
00:11:51,242 --> 00:11:53,611
We got things to do,
eyes to blindfold,
232
00:11:53,612 --> 00:11:55,980
And babies to make.
233
00:11:55,981 --> 00:11:58,849
You know, it may not work
the first time, honey.
234
00:11:58,850 --> 00:12:00,384
I don't care.
235
00:12:00,385 --> 00:12:02,586
If it takes a million tries
and a million tears,
236
00:12:02,587 --> 00:12:05,456
That young'un
shall be yours.
237
00:12:05,457 --> 00:12:07,959
And that money
shall be mine.
238
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,493
Come on, babe.
239
00:12:09,494 --> 00:12:10,561
Let's go die a little.
240
00:12:21,672 --> 00:12:22,773
"to test for pregnancy,
241
00:12:22,774 --> 00:12:25,976
Mix sample a
with reagent b."
242
00:12:25,977 --> 00:12:28,112
What's reagent b?
243
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:30,714
Hi, daddy.
What you doing?
244
00:12:30,715 --> 00:12:33,383
Uh, nothing you need
to know about, honey.
245
00:12:33,384 --> 00:12:35,453
Oh, a home
pregnancy test.
246
00:12:37,689 --> 00:12:38,989
Let me show you.
247
00:12:40,325 --> 00:12:43,461
Now, you just fill
the dropper to the line...
248
00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:47,465
And then shake the mix
with the anti-hcg conjugate.
249
00:12:47,466 --> 00:12:49,366
Put it back
into the stand,
250
00:12:49,367 --> 00:12:50,968
Add the litmus key...
251
00:12:50,969 --> 00:12:52,837
And if the test area--
252
00:12:52,838 --> 00:12:54,672
Not the control area
--turns blue,
253
00:12:54,673 --> 00:12:56,740
Then you have
a positive reading.
254
00:13:01,846 --> 00:13:03,280
I, uh...
255
00:13:03,281 --> 00:13:05,616
Saw the professor do it
on gilligan's island.
256
00:13:08,519 --> 00:13:10,587
Oh, well, that's okay.
257
00:13:10,588 --> 00:13:11,688
Now, it's clear.
258
00:13:11,689 --> 00:13:13,157
What does that mean?
259
00:13:13,158 --> 00:13:16,660
Well, it means that you
can still take pe.
260
00:13:19,330 --> 00:13:20,330
Al.
261
00:13:20,331 --> 00:13:22,600
Honey,
my temperature's up.
262
00:13:23,335 --> 00:13:24,468
I can't believe it.
263
00:13:24,469 --> 00:13:26,304
Two weeks, and she's
not pregnant yet.
264
00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:27,939
It's like having
two menial jobs.
265
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:33,077
Having fun, dad?
Go on with you.
266
00:13:36,648 --> 00:13:38,349
Any bundys
get pregnant yet?
267
00:13:38,350 --> 00:13:39,350
Nope.
268
00:13:39,351 --> 00:13:41,585
Good. I still
got a shot.
269
00:13:41,586 --> 00:13:44,621
I just can't believe the babes
haven't been calling though.
270
00:13:44,622 --> 00:13:47,758
I mean, I'm offering
me and a half million.
271
00:13:47,759 --> 00:13:48,959
I mean, I'll even
marry the broad.
272
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:50,494
What more could
a girl want?
273
00:13:50,495 --> 00:13:52,663
A spine-crushing accident?
274
00:13:54,132 --> 00:13:55,399
A bald spot?
275
00:13:56,434 --> 00:13:57,735
A weekend in des moines
276
00:13:57,736 --> 00:14:01,205
With orville redenbacher
and his really cool grandson?
277
00:14:08,212 --> 00:14:10,113
I know you're
just kidding.
278
00:14:10,114 --> 00:14:11,749
Because I'm cool.
279
00:14:12,918 --> 00:14:14,251
I am.
280
00:14:14,252 --> 00:14:16,153
I know I am.
281
00:14:16,154 --> 00:14:18,388
I took the quiz
in boys' life.
282
00:14:19,624 --> 00:14:20,658
Al:
Come on, peg!
283
00:14:20,659 --> 00:14:22,760
Tell me what
I wanna hear, baby!
284
00:14:22,761 --> 00:14:25,763
Peg:
Five hundred thousand
dollars, baby!
285
00:14:25,764 --> 00:14:27,197
Half a mil!
286
00:14:27,198 --> 00:14:28,332
[al moans]
287
00:14:31,602 --> 00:14:33,570
What if they do have
another baby?
288
00:14:33,571 --> 00:14:35,139
It'll be so confusing.
289
00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:37,207
I mean, what would
that be to me?
290
00:14:37,208 --> 00:14:39,109
A tutor?
291
00:14:42,514 --> 00:14:44,848
Well, I hope
they don't do it.
292
00:14:44,849 --> 00:14:48,752
I remember before you hatched,
I used to get some attention.
293
00:14:48,753 --> 00:14:50,554
I like to think that
if you were never born,
294
00:14:50,555 --> 00:14:52,689
That I would have been
the one who was able to read.
295
00:14:54,559 --> 00:14:56,427
There, that should
have done it.
296
00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:05,235
[monalisa young's "she works
hard for the money" playing]
297
00:15:09,441 --> 00:15:12,910
♪ he works hard
for the money ♪
298
00:15:12,911 --> 00:15:16,313
♪ so hard for it
honey ♪
299
00:15:16,314 --> 00:15:17,314
♪ he works hard ♪
300
00:15:17,315 --> 00:15:18,481
♪ for the money ♪
301
00:15:18,482 --> 00:15:19,783
♪ so you'd better ♪
302
00:15:19,784 --> 00:15:22,219
♪ treat him right ♪
303
00:15:23,354 --> 00:15:26,824
♪ he works hard
for the money ♪
304
00:15:26,825 --> 00:15:30,393
♪ so hard for it
honey ♪
305
00:15:30,394 --> 00:15:32,329
♪ he works hard
for the money ♪
306
00:15:32,330 --> 00:15:37,434
♪ so you'd better
treat him right ♪
307
00:15:37,435 --> 00:15:38,435
♪ he works hard ♪
308
00:15:38,436 --> 00:15:39,703
♪ for the money ♪
309
00:15:39,704 --> 00:15:41,038
♪ hard for the money ♪
310
00:15:41,039 --> 00:15:43,440
♪ so hard for it
honey ♪
311
00:15:43,441 --> 00:15:44,441
♪ hard for it
honey ♪
312
00:15:44,442 --> 00:15:46,443
♪ he works hard
for the money ♪
313
00:15:46,444 --> 00:15:47,711
♪ so you'd better ♪
♪ better ♪
314
00:15:47,712 --> 00:15:51,415
♪ treat him right ♪
315
00:15:51,416 --> 00:15:53,650
♪ he works hard, hard ♪
♪ hard, hard ♪
316
00:15:53,651 --> 00:15:55,452
♪ hard for the money ♪
317
00:15:55,453 --> 00:15:57,021
♪ hard, hard ♪
318
00:15:57,022 --> 00:15:58,622
♪ hard for it
honey ♪
319
00:15:58,623 --> 00:16:00,424
♪ hard for the money ♪
320
00:16:00,425 --> 00:16:01,993
♪ so you'd better ♪
321
00:16:01,994 --> 00:16:03,527
♪ treat him right ♪
322
00:16:05,597 --> 00:16:08,499
♪ he works hard, hard, hard ♪
323
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:11,702
♪ hard, hard, hard, hard... ♪
324
00:16:20,778 --> 00:16:22,713
Hi, mom.
325
00:16:22,714 --> 00:16:23,714
What are you doing?
326
00:16:23,715 --> 00:16:26,650
Uh...
I'm, uh...
327
00:16:26,651 --> 00:16:28,986
Taking fertility pills.
328
00:16:28,987 --> 00:16:30,387
There.
All fertile.
329
00:16:30,388 --> 00:16:31,688
Where's daddy?
330
00:16:31,689 --> 00:16:33,690
Oh, uh, he's out back
getting some exercise.
331
00:16:33,691 --> 00:16:34,891
Hm.
332
00:16:48,172 --> 00:16:49,907
Al. Honey.
333
00:16:49,908 --> 00:16:52,676
My temperature is higher
than it's ever been.
334
00:16:53,712 --> 00:16:56,113
[muttering]
335
00:16:56,114 --> 00:16:57,581
Daddy said he can't
do it anymore.
336
00:16:57,582 --> 00:17:00,017
You're killing him.
337
00:17:00,018 --> 00:17:02,285
Oh, come on, al.
Just one more time.
338
00:17:02,286 --> 00:17:05,156
You'll never
have to do it again.
339
00:17:05,157 --> 00:17:07,224
[muttering]
340
00:17:07,225 --> 00:17:09,292
Daddy says that he
can "snargly heathe."
341
00:17:11,095 --> 00:17:12,162
[muttering]
342
00:17:12,163 --> 00:17:13,998
Hardly breathe.
343
00:17:15,867 --> 00:17:17,434
Al...
344
00:17:17,435 --> 00:17:20,638
It's half
a million dollars.
345
00:17:20,639 --> 00:17:23,841
You could get cable
with that kind of money.
346
00:17:25,143 --> 00:17:26,143
[muttering]
347
00:17:26,144 --> 00:17:27,478
He says,
"let's boogie."
348
00:17:27,479 --> 00:17:28,979
[giggling]
349
00:17:28,980 --> 00:17:30,114
[grunting]
350
00:17:30,115 --> 00:17:31,581
Do you want
your gatorade, daddy?
351
00:17:31,582 --> 00:17:33,516
[mutters]
okay.
352
00:17:41,059 --> 00:17:43,093
Brace me.
353
00:17:43,094 --> 00:17:44,328
[grunts]
354
00:17:44,329 --> 00:17:46,330
God, he's light
as a feather.
355
00:17:46,331 --> 00:17:48,432
[doorbell rings]
356
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:51,635
Hello.
357
00:17:51,636 --> 00:17:53,403
I'm looking for
mr. Al bundy.
358
00:17:53,938 --> 00:17:55,406
I was al bundy.
359
00:17:57,742 --> 00:17:59,209
I'm personally letting
the heirs know
360
00:17:59,210 --> 00:18:00,945
That the race is over.
361
00:18:00,946 --> 00:18:02,146
Thank god.
362
00:18:02,147 --> 00:18:03,280
Who won?
363
00:18:03,281 --> 00:18:04,648
I did.
364
00:18:04,649 --> 00:18:05,816
You're not a bundy.
365
00:18:05,817 --> 00:18:06,916
I am now.
366
00:18:06,917 --> 00:18:09,153
Right after the will reading,
I married eugene.
367
00:18:09,154 --> 00:18:11,088
[snaps]
come, eugene.
368
00:18:13,725 --> 00:18:18,095
This is the product
of our greed: Stymie, jr.
369
00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:20,731
I got eugene a kind of
work release program.
370
00:18:20,732 --> 00:18:22,966
And work he did.
371
00:18:22,967 --> 00:18:24,768
Honey, I'll--
I'll be out in six years.
372
00:18:24,769 --> 00:18:26,770
You--? You'll hold the money
for us, won't you?
373
00:18:26,771 --> 00:18:29,440
Of course, darling.
374
00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:32,643
Now, just don't get shot
trying to escape or something.
375
00:18:32,644 --> 00:18:34,745
Then what would I do?
376
00:18:35,847 --> 00:18:37,614
[cocks gun]
377
00:18:37,615 --> 00:18:39,416
[whimpering]
378
00:18:39,417 --> 00:18:41,084
So long,
uncle eugene.
379
00:18:42,186 --> 00:18:43,420
Kelly:
Well,
380
00:18:43,421 --> 00:18:44,388
There's another fruitcake
381
00:18:44,389 --> 00:18:46,690
We won't have to
send at christmas.
382
00:18:46,691 --> 00:18:48,492
Well, at least
it's over.
383
00:18:48,493 --> 00:18:49,593
But I don't get it.
384
00:18:49,594 --> 00:18:51,461
A thousand times,
and nothing.
385
00:18:51,462 --> 00:18:54,431
I barely touched her,
and I had you two.
386
00:18:54,432 --> 00:18:56,399
Well, at least
my appetite came back.
387
00:18:57,401 --> 00:19:00,538
Peg:
Al, it's planting time.
388
00:19:00,539 --> 00:19:03,606
I'd like to plant a shovel
right between her barren eyes.
389
00:19:07,612 --> 00:19:08,979
But first, some food.
390
00:19:08,980 --> 00:19:12,382
Then I'll be able to watch tv
sitting up again.
391
00:19:12,383 --> 00:19:14,552
Hey,
I remember these.
392
00:19:14,553 --> 00:19:15,686
Tasty, crunchy.
393
00:19:15,687 --> 00:19:18,289
Good for snacking
right out of the box.
394
00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:20,024
Daddy, don't
eat those.
395
00:19:20,025 --> 00:19:21,625
Those are
birth control pills.
396
00:19:21,626 --> 00:19:23,493
No, they're not. They're
fertility pills.
397
00:19:23,494 --> 00:19:25,829
Mom's been
taking them.
398
00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:31,869
Peg:
Al, I'm waiting.
399
00:19:34,405 --> 00:19:36,106
Leave me.
400
00:19:37,708 --> 00:19:38,943
Uh, dad--
401
00:19:38,944 --> 00:19:40,544
[menacingly]
leave me.
402
00:19:43,014 --> 00:19:44,247
[front door
opens]
403
00:19:44,248 --> 00:19:46,350
[normal voice]
be right there, punny.
[closes]
404
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:49,786
I-I just wanna check
your last test first.
405
00:19:49,787 --> 00:19:52,189
Gee, I hope
it's positive.
406
00:19:53,458 --> 00:19:55,725
Oh, I have a good feeling
about this one.
407
00:20:04,969 --> 00:20:06,170
Oh, for joy.
408
00:20:06,171 --> 00:20:07,604
For joy!
409
00:20:07,605 --> 00:20:08,973
We are blessed!
410
00:20:10,641 --> 00:20:12,776
We're what?
411
00:20:12,777 --> 00:20:14,979
We're what?
412
00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:16,813
We did it, babe.
413
00:20:16,814 --> 00:20:18,048
Well, that's
impossible.
414
00:20:18,049 --> 00:20:19,049
That can't be.
415
00:20:19,050 --> 00:20:20,250
[chuckles]
416
00:20:20,251 --> 00:20:22,752
I mean, not that I'm
not really happy. I--
417
00:20:22,753 --> 00:20:25,856
Oh, god.
[laughing]
418
00:20:25,857 --> 00:20:28,558
Ah, there, there,
my little baby oven.
419
00:20:28,559 --> 00:20:31,028
Don't you ever
touch me again.
420
00:20:31,029 --> 00:20:32,929
[crying]
oh.
421
00:20:32,930 --> 00:20:36,166
Diapers and doodie.
422
00:20:36,167 --> 00:20:38,335
Feed me. Wash me.
423
00:20:38,336 --> 00:20:41,238
Unlock my door.
424
00:20:41,239 --> 00:20:44,141
Oh, my life is
truly over.
425
00:20:44,142 --> 00:20:46,776
[sobbing]
426
00:20:46,777 --> 00:20:48,612
Well, at least
there's the money.
427
00:20:48,613 --> 00:20:50,580
Oh, honey.
I forgot to tell you.
428
00:20:50,581 --> 00:20:53,783
I found out today that
someone beat us to it.
429
00:20:53,784 --> 00:20:55,719
[snickers]
430
00:20:57,722 --> 00:20:59,123
But, honey,
why should we worry?
431
00:20:59,124 --> 00:21:01,225
We have a love child
on the way.
432
00:21:03,161 --> 00:21:05,962
Wouldn't it be great
if we got twins?
433
00:21:06,964 --> 00:21:09,533
I feel fat!
434
00:21:09,534 --> 00:21:12,903
Oh, honey, that means
just more of you to love.
435
00:21:12,904 --> 00:21:15,105
Like 100 pounds.
436
00:21:15,106 --> 00:21:16,407
[chuckles]
437
00:21:16,408 --> 00:21:19,343
Gee, I hope you don't get
morning sickness again.
438
00:21:19,344 --> 00:21:23,247
You know. I-isn't it, like,
every day around this time?
439
00:21:23,248 --> 00:21:24,981
Gee, I don't feel
so good.
440
00:21:24,982 --> 00:21:27,617
Ah, it's gonna be
lots of fun.
441
00:21:27,618 --> 00:21:30,120
A-and you'll be beautiful,
what with that glow
442
00:21:30,121 --> 00:21:33,090
And the varicose veins, and...
443
00:21:33,091 --> 00:21:36,126
Your nose swelling up
like a christmas wino.
444
00:21:37,062 --> 00:21:39,263
But, honey, as I recall,
445
00:21:39,264 --> 00:21:41,765
Pregnancy was the happiest
time of your life.
446
00:21:41,766 --> 00:21:43,800
Well, that
and the three years
447
00:21:43,801 --> 00:21:45,235
It took you to
lose the weight.
448
00:21:46,604 --> 00:21:48,505
Al, you are a pig.
449
00:21:48,506 --> 00:21:49,906
Yeah, but it won't be me
squealing
450
00:21:49,907 --> 00:21:52,276
Those 40 hours
during labor.
451
00:21:52,277 --> 00:21:54,344
[laughing]
452
00:21:57,515 --> 00:21:59,149
Wh--? What's
the matter, honey?
453
00:21:59,150 --> 00:22:00,684
You look kind
of pale.
454
00:22:00,685 --> 00:22:03,220
H-how about some nice
clams and peas?
455
00:22:03,221 --> 00:22:05,556
[moans]
456
00:22:11,229 --> 00:22:13,863
Eh, tomorrow, I'll shrink
all her clothes.
457
00:22:16,401 --> 00:22:18,902
Peg:
Oh, mother of god!
458
00:22:18,903 --> 00:22:22,372
[chuckling]
[peg vomiting]
459
00:22:22,373 --> 00:22:24,475
Yeah, you can't buy that
for half a mil.
460
00:22:40,624 --> 00:22:43,493
[♪]